i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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