Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
porn star boner night. come get it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
