You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I came so hard my ears popped.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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