Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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