Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
