This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
