you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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