i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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