when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
