I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
