I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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