You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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