I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
