I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
