After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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