I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So many bounce houses so little time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
my liver is dry heaving
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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