The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
