How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
