I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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