i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
