so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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