Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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