Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
