erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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