So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
