I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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