Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
