Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
