guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Randomize
