yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
