so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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