all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
