I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
