While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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