I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
