I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
