You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
