I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
