I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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