i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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