I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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