He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
