Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
