Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
