Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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