apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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