You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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