I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Naked. naked and bneed help.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
