I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
