No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
