Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
