Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
