i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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