Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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