He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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