i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She bit a glass in half.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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