Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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