All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
