i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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