is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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