You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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