haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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