I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No subtext here. People are naked.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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