We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize